Let’s face it ladies. Men need very few things. The essentials as I like to refer to them:

Sex, food, reassurance, and more sex.

Guys love food.

Guys love sexy.

Guys love sex.

Guys need reassurance AKA attention and sex.

A great girlfriend, fiancé or wife who cooks and cleans, runs errands, works out, earns her own income and takes out the trash is a great catch for sure! But if she’s not making an effort in the sexy department, men can get grumpy.

And EDGY.

Did I also mention they can feel SUPER NEGLECTED?

And forgetful. (As in forgetting all the other amazing things we do for them.)

Okay, soooo how can us girls make sure to fit everything plus sexy into our lives?

I say make it a part of our lifestyle!

And not just for the men mind you. We feel better about ourselves when we get sexy and pay attention to bodies. Whether it’s healthy eating, a dab of mascara or a quickie in home facial, taking care of ourselves just feels good and sexy, doesn’t it?

In today’s world we are busier than ever! Looking pretty 24/7 and acting sexy while keeping a tidy house, earning income, taking care of the kids and hitting the gym is anything but easy. So how can we incorporate all of this into our mode de vie to keep everyone happy, reassured, and feeling FAB?

COMPROMISE.

Yes ladies look out! Sometimes the house has to go uncleaned, looking less perfect. Yes I know, it SUCKS. The kids may not make it to all TEN activities in the one day you were hoping for. And you probably won’t accomplish everything you want to as far as errands and laundry are concerned. But hey, that’s okay. Your relationship with yourself and your man should be number one, right?

Life is about balance. Everything in moderation. Somewhere in our busy day we need to take care of ourselves i.e. working out, adding a touch of makeup, and getting out of those baggy sweat pants!

As you guys know, I’m a full time professional dancer, fitness, pilates and yoga instructor, and Yorkie mom. When I’m not working I’m driving to my next class, walking the yorkies, cleaning the house, writing a blog and cooking our next healthy meal. Sometimes I get so caught up in my daily chores, I forget about quality time and effort with Anton.

OH YEAH! Ooops…

Showing up in my sweaty workout clothes and ZERO makeup after a long day of teaching can’t always be that appealing to a man, can it?

Come on ladies– they’re men, and we all know sometimes they need a little incentive!

Try one of my five tips this Valentine’s Evening… I dare you!

I. Making an effort in the appearance department.

WELL… I’ve learned to cheat a little bit. I’ll run home, walk the dogs, prep dinner and throw on a sexy sweater, some high heels and my prettiest pair of workout pants. No time for a shower, that comes later after I do the dishes LOL. But at least I look better now. I’ll even throw on some highlighter and mascara, a bit of nude or pink lip gloss and add a flower to my hair. Turn on some latin music and spray some of my favorite Flower Bomb (by Viktor Rudolf) on my hair. Yum.

Maybe you guys prefer to take a shower? Maybe jeans and a sexy top work for you. It’s all about what feels good to you and what you can squeeze in to your day! Plus, you know your guy. If he digs high heels, put those high heels on. If he prefers a simple white t-shirt with no bra, do that. There’s no right and wrong in this department.  Heck, him coming home to you cooking naked would be pretty freaking awesome. And there’s no outfit to coordinate HAHA.

So what’s stopping you?

II. Always making an effort to greet your babe when he comes home:

When Anton gets home the first thing I do is say hi and give him a big kiss. Why? Because affection is important. For both of us. Me dropping something less important to give him the attention he deserves and needs shows that I care about our relationship. And it takes all of two seconds, literally.

And the same applies vice versa. If you come home and your man is busy cheering his fave football team, yelling their jersey numbers, that’s not cool. I suggest you head into the closet for a quick change and try my “naked cooking” idea. Positive punishment is always helpful… he may think twice about ignoring you the next time you enter the house. 🙂

III. Dropping technology for conversation and flirtation.

I get it. We are busier than ever in today’s world. But for crying out loud drop your iPhones and iPads for dinner. One of the things that annoys me most is cell phone usage at the dinner table.

STOP.

Put the phones away and have a conversation. FLIRT. Ask about each other’s days. Oh yeah and it’s very important to actually LISTEN. Even quiz yourself afterwards so you know you were paying attention. Work, money, friends, family, YES, they’re all important- but what are your real priorities? If you’re in a serious relationship, your partner should come first. Find those priorities and stick to them!

My favorite time with Anton is when we both come home exhausted during the week and have dinner together. Now don’t hear the word dinner and think it’s anything fancy because I can guarantee you it’s not LOL. I’ve probably whipped up a nice plate of veggies, hummus, smoked fish, rice crackers and salad. But again, that’s where I choose to compromise. Anton would much rather enjoy a simple, easy meal with me than without me. So I spend less time slaving away in the kitchen and more time with him. This works out great. We have a simple, healthy meal and spend healthy, quality time together.

IV. Make time for SEX.

Yep, let’s not forget one of the most important topics of conversation. Sex is healthy for everyone involved. Gwyneth Paltrow will be the first to tell you how strongly she feels about having sex regularly.

This may sound silly, but if you’ve got a super grueling week, look at your schedule and try to pencil it in (without telling your man, obviously).

Initiate sex. Don’t always leave it to your man. They love it when a woman initiates things in the bedroom. Even if it’s just once in a while.

V. And last but not least, when you’re not feeling your sexiest or prettiest, RELAX. It’s okay.

We can’t always feel 100% all the time. But we can still cuddle. Snuggle. Show affection. I love falling asleep with my head on Anton’s chest. It’s the most comfortable feeling in the world. And he loves it too. (Until the snoring starts, then it’s okay to tell them to turn away and roll over onto their side of the bed HA HA HA).

Maintaining balance is key. Imagine your life is a see saw and you’re trying to keep it up and parallel to the ground! Hard work but totally doable with effort:). I’m not saying everything is for the man and nothing is for us. We deserve to be treated like princesses and totally spoiled rotten :). But what I am saying is that as women, we need to make concious, active effort daily.

Am I making any sense lol?

A relationship takes two people who love eachother and TRY all the time. And the longer the relationship, the greater the trying and effort that is required. It’s important for men to initiate and be sexy too (time for another blog on massive male effort and sexiness I think). But this article is about women. About the effort we can make towards our men to make our relationships stronger, sexier and better all around.

SO… do you guys think I’m crazy? Anyone agree with me? Would love to hear you thoughts on this entire subject.

xx Shanna